We were having our normal conversation when the dreaded EX came to the topic. He said "You will always have a part of your heart for him". "If he choose to come back, you will choose him over me..."., while saying this words he is pointing to my heart. I never mention my ex to him, its too painful to remember. I reassured him, he wont come back and I won't choose him over what I have right now, but Nik said he will understand, because he knows whereever my EX is, he will also have a piece of his heart that belongs to only me and Ellyce.
I know it crushes him to know he was never the first. What is it with Ex's anyway, that make the current one scared sometimes? Will the past crush the present? Will it hinder the future? Will the ghost of the past haunt when you are almost at your happily ever after stage?
I really can't say what the future holds. I only can fathom its existance and I know it will be beyond my control. But I have to try to concentrate what I have now rather that what lies ahead. I am thankful of GOD's gift of love and forgiveness.. GOD's plans are not ours and I know HE knows better. Will we cross path again? or never? All I can say nobody was never ready...all will be in HIS perfect time.
As we finish the dreaded conversation about the EX, I told him, "you know what I like about you, you always ask what I want and always ask what I am thinking" It means, I am important. He values what I have to say and I know I have a man for keeps. Thank you Lord for another chance and I pray that the next EX will be my husband...
I look at my life as an unfinished material, still on progress and is woven carefully and beautifully by threads of happiness...
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