About Last Night

Hehehe....sound like a rated R movie right.. but nooo... I am as wholesome ever. For the logest time that I was planning to go for jogging, it already became a reality...last night was like the launching date...

I started to warm up by doing brisk walking, then after 2 rounds, I started jogging...and before I can finish the two laps I was struggling... huhuhu =(

I do not know if it was because, I gained a lot of weight or is it becasue I am lazy. But my feet was dragging me, so I had to stop and try to do brisk walking again because my legs are already shouting in pain...hehehe =)

But I am determined to do it everyday until I loose those fats away from my body...ahahaha =P and have my six packs (is this the correct spelling?) So next time, when I will be dancing the pussycat dolls "beep" I wouldn't look like a ball bouncing...

Cheer me up guys to continue this regime

If he was a script.......

if (i am in office && day != "Saturday" OR "Sunday")
{
printf("Get rid of other guys from talking to Earlene")
printf("Show affection to Earlene")
}
else
printf("Ignore Earlene")

endif;

Can any programmer help me to change this script? hehehe =P

I am Sorry

I am sorry if now I am surrendering
I am sorry if now I choose to love myself more
I am sorry if now, I want to move on and leave you
I do not want my heart to be played by you

I am sorry if you didn't see I was hurting
I am sorry if I was too sensitive to feel that you are taking me for granted
I am sorry that your laughs and smiles will not heal the wounds that you have inflicted
I am sorry, if I thought you were true

I am sorry, but this time, I think I need to say goodbye to you...

Hating Kapatid

Naalala ko nung mga bata pa kami ng mga kapatid ko, we are a brod of 5, tuwing may darating na mga imported chocolates..we would always say "hating kapatid" which means equal sharing...
Maybe that's where I was able to practice my multiplication and division... hehehe =)

Tuwing darating ang mommy ko na may dalang chocolate, aabot nya sa isa sa amin magkakapatid, and we would run like bees to their bee hive, then hahatiin nanamin sya..Last time..because we where still little most of us would be in the house and we would be all present while dividing the stuffs. But now, malalaki na kami, pag may mga chocolates na darating, di pa rin nawawala ang hating kapatid, pero may halo na syang gulangan...hehehehe =)

Sometimes, when we grow older, we forget the simple things we have when we were little. Like, we stand out for our siblings when someone hurt them. We side with them, and cheer them even they are the wimpiest players in the team. We hide our last candy, when someone gave us some, para ipasalubong sa ating mga kapatid...When they are sad, we would feel something's wrong and we try to make them laugh.. =)

I am now 30 and I thought, that age gap, distance and lack of communication, lessen the love we have for each other. But I was wrong, we still love each other...more....when I go home this October, I will bring them lots and lots of chocolates and definitely, you would hear them say... "Hating Kapatid, ha"....

=)

Tulog Na

I remembered last time, they would joke me around and tell me, "When Earlene starts to lay on her back, count 1 to 4 and she will be asleep". Last time it was very easy..last time it was not a struggle to sleep....

Now, even when my body is too tired, rest does not haunt me easily at night...I would be staring at the ceiling, thinking...I would be staring until my head starts to ache....They say you start thinking about yourself, when I start thinking about myself, I get more head aches. It's true that it is easier to find solutions for other people, than for yourself....It it easier to give advises to your love ones, instead of your own...

I hope this sleepness nights will be over and I hope I find the answers soon.....

Writing Once Again

I lost my touch in writing. I cannot write inspirational entries anymore. I was too occupied with something.

I want it back, I want to write again. I want to express myself freely. I want the words to overflow in my mind and create a good entry that will inspire me and inspire others. (taas ng pangarap)

I want to write again, that's all I wanted to do now

He was my Almost

In the shadows of a dim light an image showed. Never realized what it was, but it gave comfort to the sadness that surrounds. Along the strips of the spaces, it filled out the nothingness and gave hoped. For a short time it gave color to my black and white.

Time passes quickly and it sure is a medicine for healing, a spoonful of love from people around, made it easier to swallow. Suddenly, I really do not know when it started, you are conveniently talking to me again. I do not want to think anymore, what is your reason, but surely it's a shock.

As I say, you hurt me once, shame on you. You hurt me twice, shame on me. You told me yesterday, you are used to be alone, nobody to care for you. Then as clear as sunlight in the morning, I understand. I was blessed to be surrounded by people who loves me. I was blessed to be included in other people's lives. I have a purpose, to love and share that warmth experience to other people.

As I was reading the BIBLE last night, I saw this entry. "Impaired Vision". The story goes that last time, there were no mirrors yet. People only look on shiny things and see their impaired vision, to see if they look good, if there is something wrong in their appearance.

Funny how we do not see the purpose of things when we are the ones experiencing it.It's like the impaired visions. We know we are looking at ourselves, but we only merely see it's beauty. As the entry ended, it gave a promise:

Someday, He'll make it plain to me
Someday, when His face I shall see
Someday, from tears, I shall be free
For someday, I will understand --Leech

Now, I may not understand what is happening, but I am thankful, and surely, later on I will understand, why he was my almost.

Mr. Shaifudin

He was my mentor during the time I entered Singhealth. He was my mentor, during the transfer in the IBM building, teaching me patiently to learn billiards..He is still my mentor now, teaching me new things everytime...Don't think of him as an old man, actually he is not, I am much older than him (just do not base it on looks, cause I look much younger) ahahahahha =)

He also, introduced me into writing blogs. So, as an appreciation, I am writing a blog about him... =)

I never thought I would have a close friend, who is of different culture and race..Well, at times I can't still imagine how both of us communicate...but we did and I am happy about it...Of course, at first we were, divided by the high walls of expectations and uncertainty..but as time passes by and you have the eagerness to share a part of yourself to another person.. those barriers will surely crumble down.

I value our friendship, he still mentors me on some things like, how to cheat in billiards...hehehe =P how to overcome heat ache, how to read men,which I definitely would still not understand.. ahahaha =P

But this blog, is made, to express my thankfulness. Thank you, for trusting me, thank you for believing and me and accepting me as one of your friends....from the buttom of my heart...

Thanks, Din.....

Changes

I always accept changes...because I know that changes is good for you..It helps you grow, understand and be more stronger than before...In short terms, it adds up to experience..

Recently, there was a mixture of happiness, sadness, questioning changes, happened to my LIFE. I would have been devastated, I would have cried alot, but I just thought and charged it to experience...

Questions still haunts me, but now I am brave enough to face it and try not to mind it..All the things happening in our lives, when we are not ready to face it, not ready yet to step forward, then stop for a while..embrace the chaos and always remember to love yourself more....TRUST in yourself that, one simple turn around can make it all better and you will never know, you will be standing again ready to face another CHALLENGE and another CHANGE....and sometimes, you might have not noticed it, you never moved at all but the people who loves you nudge you little by little to get out of the situation....I l0ve you guys.... mwaaahhhhh