Officially Closed

I am officially closing this blogsite. I am creating a new one, but I still do not know when. The memories I have in it, are wonderful and mind opening for a simple girl like me.

I have grown to be stronger and more wise. Thank you for all my friends who always visit it and try to read my never ending search of true love. I guess, I am still a failure at this time, but I am more than happy with no regrets of what I have gained and experienced.

I do not want to bring up the past again. I will just look into the future. of what it is in store for me. I will be ready for it as I know it would be more challenging and more breath taking. I am ready to captue every opportunity, feel every inch of it and always stand up victorious.

If I lose.. then let it be another story...hope you guys will still be supporting me and encouraging me like you have done before...

Until I find the right blogsite....

Thank you.......

Pagsulat Muli

Matagal tagal na ako di nakakapagsulat. Ayoko na kasi ilagay yung mga kwento ko tungkol sa aking buhay pag-ibig. Minsan naiisip ko, wala na kapupulutan na aral ang aking mga karanasan. hehehe drama ba?

Pero yung mga natutunan ko na lang sasabihin ko...

1. Pag nagmahal ka, totoo yung sinasabi nila na dapat lagi ka magtitira para sa sarili mo. Wag mo ibigay ang 100 %. Sabi nga nila nobody will love you more, but yourself.

2. It's okey to show your feelings, it's your right. Mas sinusuppress mo yung nararamdaman mo, mas magpupumiglas yan.

3. Learn to balance things, wag lagi puso, wag lagi utak. Minsan raw pag pagod na ang puso, utak naman ang gamitin, at pag pagod na ang utak, puso naman ang pairalin.

4. Magkaiba kayo na tao, at dahil dito magkaiba kayo ng pananaw sa mga bagay bagay..Don't ever assume. Try to ask questions...Magmatapang, tulad ng ninuno nating si Andres Bonifacio...hehehe

5. Don't set your expectations too high..love counts more if it comes in gestures of assurance, hugs, kisses, saying take care, i love you.

6. Don't try to change that person to fit your "ideal person"

7. Always talk, talking is the key, when you talk you discover things about the other person, you learn things are not what it seems.

8. Make each other laugh, dun mo makikita na, lahat pala tayo may special talent na mag punch line...hehhe

9. Take time to give each other time and at the same time learn when to give some space, dapat may breathing ground rin. Maganda yun kasi namimiss nyo ang isa't isa

10. If all things fail, sometimes, okey lang magpahinga, collect your thoughts. If ayaw mo na talaga, tell it to the other person. To be fair...

Ano expert na ba ako? nyahaha

Ito, if all things fail...wag raw sa text sabihin, o sa email..kausapin mo kahit for the last time, para makita nya expression ng muka mo, tono ng boses mo, body language, mo..then malalaman mo rin ang totoo at an instant. =)

HEADACHE

Headache you'll always have
Every now and then it come
Always need medicine to relax or
Die of pain all day and night
Act immediately and seek advice
Carry yourself to the doctor
Headache might cause problems tonight and
End your chances to go to DUBAI

You Give Me Something

James Morrison


You only stay with me in the morning
You only hold me when I sleep
I was meant to tread the water
But now I've gotten in too deep

For every piece of me that wants you
Another piece backs away

You give me something
That makes me scared alright
This could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try
Please give me something
Because someday I might know my heart

You only waited up for hours
Just to spend a little time alone with me
And I can say I've never bought you flowers
I can't work out what they mean

I never thought that I'd love someone
That was someone else's dream

You give me something
That makes me scared alright
This could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try
Please give me something
Because someday I might call you from my heart

But it might be a second too late
And the words that I could never say
Are gonna come out anyway

You give me something
That makes me scared alright
This could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try
Please give me something

You give me something
That makes me scared alright
This could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try
Please give me something
Because someday I might know my heart

Know my heart, know my heart, know my heart

I Love You NOT

Everytime you make excuses to meet my friends.

Everytime you cannot state our status

Everytime you suddenly keep quiet with no reason at all

Whenever, you don't take notice of me.

Every weekend

Everytime I call and I notice you never call me but only sms to reply.

Everytime I cannot hug you or express myself in front of so many people, because you do not want them to know.

Everytime I cry, each time we say goodbye from the taxi, because you cannot come up to my house.

Everytime, I remember our monthsary and wanted to celebrate it

Vague future

No future

Everytime, I want to tell you how much I am hurting but because I do not want to ruin the time spent together, I just keep quiet

Everyitme I have to convince myself not to fall in love with you anymore because this is only temporary.

Still holding on, because I love you...

Finding What's Right for Me

Everytime, you feel boredom and unsatisfaction to your job, you always analyze yourself and ask the question WHY?

Like love, job is also a relationship. yess....let me demostrate to you why..

1. At first choose which job, suits your tastes and at the same time the job, chooses you for the qualitites you have.
2. You get to know each other, putting your best foot forward as you make your way to familiarization.
3. Once you familiarize yourself, you try to win your job's attention, by giving out your extra unique qualities.
4. You go to office everyday, wearing your smile and go home with satisfaction in your face... you are inspired...
5. You learn little by little how this job, operates and the people behind it..you tend to analyze and see if it's good or bad?
6. Later you feel, you are not challenged anymore, and you are not taken care off.
7. You give your best to the work, but it seem you are not appreciated.
8. You exert more effort, but you get burned out.
9. Eventually, you feel left out...You decide to leave
10. You make yourself available and cancel your agreement with the current beau..I mean job.. hehehe =)

See it's like falling in love then getting hurt and loving again...

So happy HUNTING GUYS....=)

Will I strike 2 birds with one stone???? hehehe =P

Valentine's Day

Last year I celebrated Valentine's Day with my college friends. (Who says Valentines is for couples only) hehehehe =) Then yesterday, I choose to celebrate it with them. Same time, same place, same old faces. After a year of being together here in Singapore, we managed to find love, experienced it, lost it, still holding on to it and fighting for it. We laughed, of how much we have changed for the course of time and I noticed in some ways our values changed, our outlook in life, our plans also changed.

We choose to look into the future and not settle on the past. We choose to learn and be there for each other. I rarely talk to them, mostly on chats only and sms, but I know in some ways we are already connected.

Yesterday, we were, planning on jumping to another country, on visiting and travelling once again, since 2008 has just come. All the adventures we had, made us closer and happy women, not seeing any doubts or regrets for the paths we chose. I value them, it makes me feel more blessed knowing them and expressing to them freely and the acceptance from them, that this is "ME".

Well, that is love, accepting the person for what he is, who he wants to become and trusting that whatever path he chose, he still will be there for you, doing the same thing......
HAPPY VALENTINES!!!! =P

I Love You

Everytime you give me the prawns in your noodle soup, because you know they're my favorite
Helps me get those noodles using chop sticks because I can't
Patiently waits for me, even it's only 30 minutes
Tell me your true self even it might make you feel inferior
Buy me mango juice and pretend it's your extra one
Call me, everytime you feel a headache
Eat my left over
Buy me what food I want and never afraid for me to gain a little few pounds
Dinner once a week
Ask for 2 sets of spoon and fork so that people will not think I do not know how to use chop sticks
Send me home after dinner
Sound of your laughter everytime, we are together
Hugs during sunset
Kisses on the beach
Touch of assurance you're back
Looks that seem promises of forever
Unspoken words
Never saying "I love you"
Leaving without any reasons said
Looking into my eyes
Tears on my eyes
Uncertainty of forever
Understanding without questions
Trusting without seeing
Holding on, but ready to let go when the time comes

Earlene
February 9, 2008

I can be the one

Dati nung mga panahon na nababaliw pa ako sa iyo. Lagi ko ginawa ang lahat ng bagay, para ba masabi ko sa iyo o maramdaman mo na "I can be the one". Sa unang pagkakataon nasaktan mo ako, maraming beses, di lang ata isa..minsan di ko na rin kayang bilangin, kung sasama ko yung mga pagbalewala mo at saka pag iwas mo sakin ng bigla bigla na lang.

Ngayon, iniisip mo pa ba na ganun kita kamahal, paano kung ako rin ang magsabi sa iyo ng "I can be the one who will break your heart this time?"

Ako

I grew up in an environment where, you think of others first before your own. That you will be given life's rewards if you choose "sacrifice".

All along in my life, I only think of others before me. What would others say? What would others feel? What would they expect me to do? I gained people's respect, I do not know is it because of my personality or because, I put them first before me?

I never regret my choices in life, because, I know to live life is also not to look back with shame. Always be careful with your choices and if cannot be helped, you have to stand to a decision in which you think you feel you can accept and live with.

I lived my life for other people but not mine. I thought that I can only continue to pursue to breath a little bit more because I have people who needs me.

But 2008 seems different, I am tired, suddenly tired of putting off to people's demands. I want to life my life now, not for people, but for my own..Live my life, as if my last and my choices would mainly be to answer the only question, will it make me happy??

Is it being selfish? I really do not know.....Is it a sin to hope for your own wellness?... Maybe I'll answer it on my next entry? =)

Tattoo

Jordin Sparks

Oh, oh, oh
No matter what you say about love
I keep coming back for more
Keep my hand in the fire
Sooner or later, I'll get what I'm asking for

No matter what you say about life
I learn every time I bleed
That truth is a stranger
Soul is in danger, I gotta let my spirit be free

To admit that I'm wrong
And then change my mind
Sorry but I have to move on
And leave you behind

[Chorus]
I can't waste time so give it a moment
I realize, nothing's broken
No need to worry 'bout everything I've done
Live every second like it was my last one

Don't look back at a new direction
I loved you once, needed protection
You're still a part of everything I do
You're on my heart just like a tattoo

(Just like a tattoo, I'll always have you
I'll always have you, I'll always have you)

I'm sick of playing all of these games
It's not about taking sides
When I looked in the mirror, didn't deliver
It hurt enough to think that I could

Stop, admit that I'm wrong
And then change my mind
Sorry but I gotta be strong
And leave you behind

[Chorus]
(Just like a tattoo, I'll always have youI'll always have you)

[Bridge]
If I live every moment
Won't change any moment
Still a part of me and you

I will never regret you
Still the memory of you
Marks everything i do

[Chorus x2]
Just like a tattooI'll always have you

My Man

Dreaded commitment because of your dreams
Always wanted to improve your life by all means
Visualizing your life of being alone
In the future you say, you'll have it all...
Did not matter, how it will go, because your eyes are locked to your goals.

Please stop looking at me like that
Hoping you'll stay forever more
Anticipating your dreams would include me
Making me more, lonely

Cross the bridge when I get there, they say
Only to wish to see you on the other side
Now here we are again, together and happy
Going out and enjoying each other's company.

This is my now, will I turn away or stay?
Unchain my heart from this situation
Although I grown to learn that this is not forever
Never I surrender praying that one day, you'll be "My Man"

Earlene
January 19,2008
10:09 am

Crew

I was helping my brother edit his resume yesterday and I cannot imagine how years have gone by so easily that now, he is a matured grown man, ready for the real world.

As part of his job experiences I saw, staff crew for a food chain..He was proud to say he was once a crew. Two of my brothers worked on a food chain and I am not ashamed to tell my friends. I even let my friends see them at work.

Being a crew is hard work, when they come home around 2 am and then just sometimes sleep without changing their clothes, I know they were tired, serving other people, giving them their best service to people. Making sure orders are correct, and on time. Making sure, the tables are clean and tidy.

I strive hard until now, not because for myself, but because of my siblings, who have been so helpful of me as well in bringing up our family. Living in the Philippines in hard, and even harder if your family is bigger.

I thank them until now, because, we have a give and take relationship. We sacrifice some of our time to enjoy life, to work at a young age.

Now, my brother has just graduated and ready to look for a corporate job, we will work hand in hand until our two other siblings graduate. I love them and I do not know living life without them as well...and for my brothers who have worked hard, I salute you...I love you...mwaahh =)

band aid

Sabi ko sa sarili ko ayoko na nito. Nakakatawang isipin na pati sa google, pwede mo na i search ang mga advises na gusto mo nakuha pag heartbroken ka...Keep away, occupy your mind with things, be with friends, surround yourself with love ones, enjoy LIFE....

Hanggang ngayon pare-parehas ang pinag dadaanan mo, medyo na lang nag eevolve kasi after the first heart ache, you learn. Di ko alam na pati pala sila nag eevolve. hehehe =) May mga kaibigan rin ako nakaranas nyan, humihingi na nga ko ng padlock di na bad aid. Para wala na sakit...pero sadyang my heart is like a teenager, wala pa masyado alam, kaya gusto pa mag explore...nyahaha...

Actually nakita ko lang ang pic na ito, ganda kasi, sometimes even you're heart broken, you still find ways to see beauty on things around you...you find that, ang paglaban kahit talunan, ang importante, buhay ka pa rin...ready sa susunod na laban after mong magpahinga at maghilom.

Hhhmmmm... ilang bad aids na kaya nasa puso ko?? hehehe =)

After A Month

Alam ko dapat ko isulat ito... December 26, 2007 di ko makakalimutan yun, 4 days before Saturday shift tayo nun, sabi mo gutom ka na. I shared my cookies, bigay ni bob yun sa akin. Sabi mo the "biscuit taste different, is it expired?" sabi ko hindi, pero nung tinikman ko, naintindihan ko sinabi mo.. ahahaha =P

Pero di ko alam kung alam mo yung araw na yun, December 26, 2007, ika one month ng confrontation natin, bigla ka ng pop, sabi mo "i will be passing my thesis on January 11 and I am already done until Chapter 4, left with 2 chapters". Di ko alam ang dahilan mo,para sabihin yun, pero I took it as nothing...but I told you I was proud of you.

I never thought by that biscuit eh, we would be talking again, but if it made the trick.THANK YOU, BOB. =P A week later,sinabayan mo ako umuwi, never realizing, you were trying to ask me out....But, it came clear, when, you said can I go out to movie with you? (pasensya na po sa mga bumabsa, kung tunog conio, english speaking kasi itong, boylet ko)

I said no, when you asked me out, tingin ko kasi mali at that time. Pero, sabi ko sa sarili ko, next time you asked me out, I will definitely say yes.... di ko naman alam na 4 days after ganun ka kapersistent, you asked me again, this time your words, melt my heart.... "earlene, i hope you watch movie with me or have dinner tonight? can?" yesssss.....bigla ka ulit naging guapo sa akin...ahahahahaha =P

This time I said yes, but I do not want to hurry up things....I do not want to jump into conclusions...I just want to say, it's good we are in good terms again, I know it's been one month hell for you as well...so for now....let's be friends once again....=)

Earlene
House
1:33 am January 12, 2008

Tama o Mali

Nung maliit pa ako, pag mabait ako at tama ang ginawa ko, siguradong may magandang regalo ako sa mga magulang ko o sa lolo at lola ko. Pag makulit ako, o matigas ang ulo, sigurado may palo rin ako. First sign na natatakot ka o nasasaktan ka ay pagpatak ng luha sa mga mata mo..pero dahan dahan mo natututunan ang pagkakaiba ng tama at mali.

Habang lumalaki ako, nakakakilala ng mga tao, may mga nagiging kaibigan, lumalawig ang kaalaman mo sa tama at mali. Minsan natutukso ako gawin ang mali, pero dahil sa murang edad at takot, diko na tinuloy ang mga bagay na yun. Lagi ko kasi naririnig sa mga pinsan ko na mas matatanda sakin na " naranasan ko na yan, kaya wag mo na gawin, dahil nasa huli ang pagsisise".

Ngayon nasa tamang edad na ako, ano nga ba ang basihan ng tama o mali? Pag ba masaya ka, tama yun? Pag ba masakit, mali?

Behind The Tears...is a Strong Girl

I can now smile, I can now joke, after a while.
They say I am a tough girl, that I can get over it easily.
Losing weight was not an option but sleepless nights cannot be helped.
Too much thinking is a killer and swollen eyes is a dread.
I tried my best not to soak my pillows with tears, but my clothes are not an exemption...
But now, I can smile and I am much stonger now...

Attention

When we were small, our parents will always give us attention and full of it. When we are growing they would teach us how to sing, dance, recite a poem or do something that would capture attention (like our clothes, hair, eyes, balat) hehehe =) Those things did not matter if it is correct or not but as long as we can see people giving us the eye and then smiling, then we hit the homerun.

When we are teenagers, we hide, we do not let people see us, we do not want them to see the changes happening to our body as if we are morphing into aliens...When we become adults and fall in love, the only reason we want is to seek attention and get it from the person we love.

Why is attention that important? Why do we yearn for it? Why do we work hard for it? Last time I sought your attention, I told myself, I will not stop until your eyes are locked to me....but in return you hurt me. Now I am doing my very best not to notice you, not to look for the one thing I want from you, but you are the one freely giving it to me now? Why?

I still want your attention, but will it gain me happiness or just another heart ache? How far will you go, for me to capture your attention? or you're just checking out on me? Are you leaving soon, that is why you are giving it to me? Then should I give it to you, because time is precious? or are you also yearning attention from me too?